She Is Alive

I have not written at all in several days. And I mean at all. Normally, I write in this blog, my nightly journal, and almost every day I write at least a few paragraphs of something else. But right now I'm in a writing rut. Mainly because I am living my life. And, yes, it doesn't feel quite the same to be skipping out on my daily writing but I am really enjoying myself.

Right now I am sitting on the Big Purple Couch with my brother and my friend Ryan. They are playing guitar and we have just been talking on and off about shit. Earlier six of my other friends came over to just hang out for no reason except to sit around with each other. Today was also my first day of work. It is going to be a long summer. The baby I am watching, Isabelle, is very fussy and spends most of the day crying.

Let's see. A lot has been going on in my life. I graduated. White Dance was just about the most fun I ever had in high school. But of course afterwards I learned, just as I always do, that when I mix boys and alcohol I always end up confused. Yes, boys are stupid but I'm stupid too. I'll admit it.

I love this feeling right now. Sitting here, listening to music, talking, my whole summer spread out before me. Next week is Senior Week, which will no doubt be the craziest week of the summer. Crazy in many, many ways. I am staying in a beachfront house with 17 of my friends from school. A house full of 18 girls? Basically it will be just straight drama. Already one girl has dropped out, another girl has messed up sleeping arrangements. There's tension between drinkers and non-drinkers. I've spent much of the past few days on the phone talking about Senior Week drama and it hasn't even begun yet. But I love it.

I have a theory. Well, it's not so much a theory as a proven fact. Girls like drama. I know we all say that we hate it . I have always been the first person to say that I hate drama. But now I realize that's a lie. I can't help it. Just yesterday, I heard a rumor about a friend. But I didn't just talk to that particular friend. I felt the need to call up two girls to get their perspective. And it's not like I'm consciously thinking I want to gossip. I just think to myself, "I wonder what Samantha thinks. This affects her, too."
And, don't get me wrong, I don't spread nasty rumors. The example I was talking about just now involved a friend of ours who dropped out of our Senior Week house because she had problems with drinking. That is obviously something she should be talking to us about. It is something that affects everyone in the house. I wasn't just calling Samantha to talk about how bitchy So-and-So is, isn't she such a slut? I don't do that.


Hmm....I've gotten off on a tangent. But I like that because when I'm writing I like to get off topic and just ramble around in my mind for a while.
Now, as I have been doing for the past week, I am off to just enjoy tonight. Yes, I have to work tomorrow at 9 AM but I'm not tired and I want to sit here for hours doing nothing with good music and good people.

Reading: The Wasteland - T. S. Eliot
A poem, but I found the book of Eliot poems in my bedroom when cleaning (I am currently in the middle of a massive purge) and I just had to stop and read it. I love T. S. Eliot...yeah, I'm a poetry nerd.

Listening: Johnny and Ryan strumming on the guitar