Looking for Positive

My life sucks.

I speak those words more than any one human being ever should. I've allowed those three negative little words define my life and when I'm not speaking them I am thinking them. It's my manta. Mylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucksmylifesucks.

The past few weeks have been especially hard. The drama of my last post was resolved positively but somehow I find myself dejected and alone once again as I've fallen again for a guy who doesn't care. This time it is harder because I had convinced myself I wouldn't let this happen and I knew I couldn't let myself get attached going in...but here I am again and it feels just as bad as it always does. And I've just let the negative take over my life.

I would like to change this. I am an inherently pessimistic person. I was born with a scowl on my face, or as my Sicilian family calls it, a fungia face. The glass is perpetually half empty. I have trouble even imagining the glass half full. I focus on every little bad thing not just in my own life but in the world. It's depressing. And honestly it's exhausting.

I don't necessarily want to be this way but it's the way I am. I have to struggle to be happy. I have to struggle to see the positive things in life. But now I am going to make an effort to change. I am going to look for the positive. Just like the 5AG, I am going to try and find the awesome things in life as opposed to just the notsome things. And I'm going to write about it here.

My new rule for this blog is that for every update I must post 3 Good Things. The rest of the blog can be about anything I feel like talking about, even about the suckiness of my life, but there must be 3 Good Things listed at the end.

Let's start.

3 Good Things:
1. Drinking coffee and listening to the song It's a Wonderful Life by Sparklehorse while I walked to class in the snow this morning. Campus was quiet, only a few people with 8 AM classes walking the pathways. I was bundled and comfortable in the cold. The snow was falling gently, in pretty flakes that drifted softly to the ground and hushed the morning in a mystical calm.

2. My hair today is straight and pretty. I took the time to blow dry it out last night so that it is full of volume and then I ran the straightener through it to make it soft and shiny. It feels so soft. Having a good hair day takes the edge off a bad day.

3. My Shakespeare class. I enjoy the reading and the discussion. My professor is a young woman in her first semester here at Syracuse and she is extremely intelligent. Some people don't like reading Shakespeare because of the language but I can read it easily. It's refreshing to actually enjoy my first class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.


Maybe they are three stupid things but they're all I could come up with. I hope this gets easier with time because coming up with 3 Good Things in my day just took me half an hour. I guess I just need to keep practicing. I spend all day dwelling on negative things so it'll be good to at least take some time every few days to focus on a few good things.