*There are a few things I need to talk about in this blog post. And so in the style of a Vlogbrothers video: This blog is coming to you in 3 parts.
Part 1
I have hinted at this situation in the past two or three posts but I am once again in a pickle. Yes, a pickle. I don't know how I get myself in these pickles. Sometimes I look around and see other girls in happy, healthy relationships and wonder to myself, "How does that happen?" My friend Maria is one of these girls. She's had her fair share of bad situations but at least for the moment she is in a healthy, stress-free relationship with a guy she really likes. I don't even know how such relationships come about.
Right now, I am in just about the opposite of a healthy situation. I always end up in this sort of place and I can't help but wonder what I'm doing wrong. It's not even that i want a boyfriend because I'm happy to be single and I certainly don't think I need a boyfriend to make my life complete. But it sucks to be in my situation.
I like this guy. He has a girlfriend.
It's a confusing situation because it's not like I'm in love with this guy from afar. We're friends. We live in the same dorm. We're in the same Public Policy class. And we've hooked up several times.
At first he was the one pursuing me and I tried to keep my distance because he had a girlfriend. Then, I gave in. I started to like him. He made me like him. We became friends and he made me like him. He's a really good guy. We're compatible. But he has a girlfriend.
And now he's friendzoned me and gone home to visit his girlfriend for the weekend. Just in case I was wondering. He chose his girlfriend.
But I still like him and it sucks.
Valentines Day is coming up and I've never felt more aware of my single status. I'm not even close to being in a healthy relationship. I'm cursed.
Part 2
There's no seque. Just a jump cut.
I'm thinking of transferring.
I have my friends here and it's not like I hate it here or anything. But I'm not sure if it's the right place for me. I might want to go in a different direction academically and I also think that this environment isn't the best place for me. The application process is stressful because I'm doing everything on my own. I have 3 weeks to get everything done.
I'm not sure if I definitely want to switch schools and start all over but I want to keep my options open.
Part 3
Three Good Things
1. Beach House. I just discovered this band and they're from Baltimore! I love finding bands from Baltimore. The local music scene in Baltimore is just starting to grow (ex. Animal Collective) and I'm excited to be hearing new things. Beach House is a lo-fi, dreamy indie pop sort of music. I like it a lot.
2. My eye infection has gone away and I am healthy for once. Since my last update I was attacked by a severe eye infection. I didn't go to class on Thursday (actually, I didn't leave my bed except to stumble down to health services). I have been sick nonstop since November and now I finally feel healthy again. I had almost forgotten what it felt like not to be miserably sick all the time.
3. My sister. Sometimes I get busy and distracted and forget to call Carlee for a few weeks. Now that we live in separate states and she has a job and I have school, it's easy to let too much time go by between phone calls. But then when we do get to talk I'm reminded of how awesome my sister is. We aren't super close but it's nice to have a big sister you can talk to and who can give you advice. She's 5 years older than me so she's older and wiser but can still relate to my life.
That's all for now.
*Title:
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