Friday, May 22, 2009

Congratulations! I'm Going To Go Kill Myself Now.

Nothing like a day spent doing manual labor in the sweltering heat. Sometimes I just love living on a farm.

This weekend is a solid block of graduation parties. Plus, my own is on Sunday, which means that I have family coming in from several states and I have to pretend to like everyone. I have to have the same conversation about a million times in one day:

Annoying Relative: Congratulations!

Me: [Force a smile because just the word "congratulations" pisses me off now that I've heard it twenty million times] Thanks!

Annoying Relative: How does it feel to be graduated? [Look! I am trying to sound interested in your life even though I barely know you.]

Me: Great! I can't believe I'm finally graduated! [I'm just going to use as many exclamation points as possible because maybe it will sound like it's the first time I am having this conversation.]

Annoying Relative: So where are you going to college?

Me: Syracuse University. I'm so excited! [Actually this is the tenth time in an hour I'm having this conversation, I am no longer excited. I want to kill myself.]

Annoying Relative: And what will you be studying? [Probably drinking by the looks of it. I thought she was supposed to be smart.]

Me: Journalism. Syracuse has a great program. [Seriously. Newhouse is one of the best undergraduate Journ schools in the country. I'm not stupid. Seriously.]

Awkward Pause.

Annoying Relative: [Trying to figure out how to end the conversation quickly and get more cake] That sounds great. I know you'll do well.


Might as well shoot me now.


Reading: HP 3
Listening:

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