Imagine a girl. She is starving. Hasn't eaten a proper meal in months. She only survives by ignoring her painful hunger and focusing on distractions. But she's just so hungry. She can't deny it.
Now imagine this girl suddenly discovering free food spread out before her. Not just any free food, but all of her favorite foods, all in one place spread out specifically for her. The sign says it's free so the girl doesn't bother to read the fine print at the bottom. She just eats. She stuffs her face. And it all feels so good. It's delicious, the best food she's ever eaten. She eats all of that food down to the last blueberry. God, it tasted so good.
Then, after a few minutes of satisfaction, her stomach turns over. She hasn't been used to such rich food. She had been surviving on scraps, the scraps of scraps, next to nothing. All of the succulent food sits heavily in her stomach and the next thing she knows she is getting sick. She feels awful and only now does she read the fine print on the sign. It says that the food is free but if you eat it, you sell your soul to the devil.
OK, that girl is me. Except I wasn't starved from eating, I was starved from shopping. And the free food, all of the delicious free food, was Anthropologie.
I hadn't bought a new piece of clothing in months. I just didn't have the money. But today I cashed a check and had an excuse to go shopping. I needed a dress for Baccalaureate. Well, I bought a dress. It is beautiful. The perfect dress. Cute but not too fancy. I'll wear it again. It was a size 2, which I thought would be too small but if fit perfectly and it was the last one in the store.
But God I feel so sick now. I'm disgusted with myself. And I feel like I've sold out, sold my soul to American consumerism.
But it's just so pretty. Anthropologie, specifically their dresses, are my kryptonite.
Reading: the price tag of my new dress. $98.
I'm ashamed of myself. I can't afford to be buying $98 dresses. I wouldn't have even tried it on but I had vowed not to buy a dress over $100. Well, it's not over $100 but just barely.
Oh, and I'm also still reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Listening: Juno soundtrack
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