So what else is new?
I am feeling quite shit at the moment. I don't feel like writing, but here I am anyway...because it's April and this month exists for self-inflicted misery.
Sometimes I wish I were sixteen again. It's not very often that I wish to be a teenager, because in general I detested the experience of adolescence. But sometimes, like tonight, I wish I were sixteen. Because then I could cry and rage, act like the whole world is out to get me and sulk around for days. Teenagers are allowed to be over-dramatic and immature. When I was sixteen, I was the queen of the emotional rollercoaster. I was moody and I wrote endless journal entries about how no one understood my pain. If something wasn't how I wanted it to be, I would lock myself in the room and blare melancholy music and cry into my pillow. I would yell at my parents when they asked what was wrong. I would just give in to despair and wallow in the unfairness of it all.
Now, I just want to be an immature teenager. I just want to wallow in despair and wail about life's unfairness.
But alas I am an adult. I have to suck it up and get my work done. Life isn't going according to plan? Get over it. Get a new plan. Welcome to reality - where everything sucks and you just have to get by.
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