Still waiting.
Normally, I am not a patient person. Waiting is unpleasant and I do not enjoy it. Honestly, I can barely abide by waiting at all. But never, NEVER, has waiting been so torturous. It's all I think about. Every five minutes I pray, pray to a God I'm not even 100% sure I believe in, that the wait will be over. There are only two possible outcomes. Either my waiting is ended on itself or I have to bite the bullet and end it myself. Dear God. Dear Holy Mother. Dear Jesus. Dear Saint Monica, patron saint of patience. Dear Allah. Dear Every God of Every Religion.
In other news, there is no other news because this waiting is consuming my whole life. [In reality, I could write about my new schedule and plans for my major and law school later. Or I could write about this interesting class project I am doing on clothing. Or I could write about my renewed love of Bob Dylan and my obsession with his "Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie." But No. I just can't.]
I just want this waiting period* to be over.
*No pun intended. Take from that what you will.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
"It's College!" Is Not a Valid Excuse?
"It's college."
I speak those words more than I should. On the phone with my best friend, trying to explain a situation I throw out these words as a cathc-all. It's not the real world. It's college.
But how much does that one phrase explain or excuse?
It's college. The world is a little topsy-turvy. 13,000 18-21 year olds set loose in a small, confined community and free to do whatever they please. Alcohol, drugs, and sex left, right, and center. It's easy to lose touch with the real world, get lost in the college of it all.
Let's put this to a test:
1. Get back from a party, still completely wasted, at 5, 6, 7 AM. It's college.
2. Blazed at 3 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It's college.
3. Stay up until 2 AM and wake up at 7 the next morning for class. It's college.
4. Surviving solely on black coffee, cigarettes, and Welch's Fruit Snacks. It's college.
5. Hooking up with a total stranger on the dance floor. It's college.
6. See old, random hook ups in the dining hall, in class, in your dorm. It's college.
7. Walk back to your room, still in last night's party clothes, at 9, 10, 11 AM (12 PM?!). It's college.
Now a few trickier examples:
8. Sleep with a guy you've only known for a week. It's college?
9. Sleep with a guy you've just met that night. It's college?
10. Continue sleeping with a guy even though you know he has a girlfriend back home. It's college?
Sometimes, getting overwhelmed with the whole "college lifestyle" doesn't work out so well. One winter you're a Catholic school girl, guilty of nothing more scandalous than getting tipsy and making out with boys. A year later, you're living by the "It's College" Code.
The twist? I'm not making any apologies. It's college.
I speak those words more than I should. On the phone with my best friend, trying to explain a situation I throw out these words as a cathc-all. It's not the real world. It's college.
But how much does that one phrase explain or excuse?
It's college. The world is a little topsy-turvy. 13,000 18-21 year olds set loose in a small, confined community and free to do whatever they please. Alcohol, drugs, and sex left, right, and center. It's easy to lose touch with the real world, get lost in the college of it all.
Let's put this to a test:
1. Get back from a party, still completely wasted, at 5, 6, 7 AM. It's college.
2. Blazed at 3 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. It's college.
3. Stay up until 2 AM and wake up at 7 the next morning for class. It's college.
4. Surviving solely on black coffee, cigarettes, and Welch's Fruit Snacks. It's college.
5. Hooking up with a total stranger on the dance floor. It's college.
6. See old, random hook ups in the dining hall, in class, in your dorm. It's college.
7. Walk back to your room, still in last night's party clothes, at 9, 10, 11 AM (12 PM?!). It's college.
Now a few trickier examples:
8. Sleep with a guy you've only known for a week. It's college?
9. Sleep with a guy you've just met that night. It's college?
10. Continue sleeping with a guy even though you know he has a girlfriend back home. It's college?
Sometimes, getting overwhelmed with the whole "college lifestyle" doesn't work out so well. One winter you're a Catholic school girl, guilty of nothing more scandalous than getting tipsy and making out with boys. A year later, you're living by the "It's College" Code.
The twist? I'm not making any apologies. It's college.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Beginning of a New Semester
A new year and a new semester.
Back in the College World, life is the same as it was. I walk up and down 125 steps multiple times every day. I eat carrot sticks with every meal. I creep on kids in the dining hall. I refer to guys I have never spoken to by nicknames such as V-Neck Guy*, Nerdy Glasses Guy, Jurassic Park Guy, and Weird Hat Guy. I smoke too much. I drink too much coffee. I write lyrics and poetry from memory instead of taking notes in boring classes. I listen to the Harry Potter audio books by Jim Dale on my iPod as I walk to class. I eat too many Fruit Snacks. And, most importantly, I spend hours gossiping with my lovely college girls.
In important life news: I have an alien sinus infection that could be allergies in disguise (one possibility is an allergy to cold air...apparently such a torture is possible). I have one of those grotesque, hacking coughs that sounds like disgustingness rattling in my chest. My nose isn't that stuffed up anymore but still I sometimes have to resort to the socially inacceptable practice of mouth-breathing that makes me feel like a geek with an adenoid problem. But worst of all is my hearing problems. My head is so congested that I have lost about 63% of my hearing in both ears. This is quite annoying when you can't hear anything your professors say in class.
Oh and did I mention that I've had said sinus infection since November? (hearing loss didn't occur until just after Christmas, though). Fun times.
Margaret seems to think that I need to be more positive. She referenced Adelaide in Guys & Dolls, which is just one example why we are best friends. I told her that I am not wired for positivity. But just for her I will focuse on positive things (like the 5AG's coming up with a reason why every day is awesome). For example: I love listening to Harry Potter as I walk to classes every day. Most people walk around campus with headphones in listening to music. People think they look so cool making everyone wonder what awesome music they are listening to. My chosen soundtrack is, of course, my beloved Harry. It just makes me happy.
While we are focusing on awesome things. I would like to take a moment to share one of my favorite poems. Don't worry it is short. I know it by heart. It was the first poem I ever memorized. Second grade, Mrs. Campbell's class. I had to recite it in front of the whole class.
A treehouse, a free house
A secret you and me house,
A high up in the leafy branches,
Cozy as can be house.
A stree house, a neat house
Be sure to wipe your feet house-
That's not my kind of house at all.
Let's go live in a treehouse.
It makes me smile. I am keeping things positive...or at least as positive as physically possible in Rosalee Land.
And so, in conclusion, I would just like to state that I had a good first week of term. Yes, I am still having trouble with anxiety and sleep and all of that other stuff but overall I feel like I am starting off the semester pretty well.
*So maybe I do know some of these guys. Ok, maybe I know certain of these guys in what some would see as slutty ways. But really just this one guy. The nickname of V-Neck Guy was given to him before we met and before I got to know him in said possibly-slutty ways. Actually, Maria was the one who noticed him in the dining hall and I didn't realize until after I met him that he was in fact THE V-Neck Guy. And now we're friends (and by friends I mean there is, of course, the usual drama that follows me wherever I go because I am always making poor life decisions).
Back in the College World, life is the same as it was. I walk up and down 125 steps multiple times every day. I eat carrot sticks with every meal. I creep on kids in the dining hall. I refer to guys I have never spoken to by nicknames such as V-Neck Guy*, Nerdy Glasses Guy, Jurassic Park Guy, and Weird Hat Guy. I smoke too much. I drink too much coffee. I write lyrics and poetry from memory instead of taking notes in boring classes. I listen to the Harry Potter audio books by Jim Dale on my iPod as I walk to class. I eat too many Fruit Snacks. And, most importantly, I spend hours gossiping with my lovely college girls.
In important life news: I have an alien sinus infection that could be allergies in disguise (one possibility is an allergy to cold air...apparently such a torture is possible). I have one of those grotesque, hacking coughs that sounds like disgustingness rattling in my chest. My nose isn't that stuffed up anymore but still I sometimes have to resort to the socially inacceptable practice of mouth-breathing that makes me feel like a geek with an adenoid problem. But worst of all is my hearing problems. My head is so congested that I have lost about 63% of my hearing in both ears. This is quite annoying when you can't hear anything your professors say in class.
Oh and did I mention that I've had said sinus infection since November? (hearing loss didn't occur until just after Christmas, though). Fun times.
Margaret seems to think that I need to be more positive. She referenced Adelaide in Guys & Dolls, which is just one example why we are best friends. I told her that I am not wired for positivity. But just for her I will focuse on positive things (like the 5AG's coming up with a reason why every day is awesome). For example: I love listening to Harry Potter as I walk to classes every day. Most people walk around campus with headphones in listening to music. People think they look so cool making everyone wonder what awesome music they are listening to. My chosen soundtrack is, of course, my beloved Harry. It just makes me happy.
While we are focusing on awesome things. I would like to take a moment to share one of my favorite poems. Don't worry it is short. I know it by heart. It was the first poem I ever memorized. Second grade, Mrs. Campbell's class. I had to recite it in front of the whole class.
A treehouse, a free house
A secret you and me house,
A high up in the leafy branches,
Cozy as can be house.
A stree house, a neat house
Be sure to wipe your feet house-
That's not my kind of house at all.
Let's go live in a treehouse.
It makes me smile. I am keeping things positive...or at least as positive as physically possible in Rosalee Land.
And so, in conclusion, I would just like to state that I had a good first week of term. Yes, I am still having trouble with anxiety and sleep and all of that other stuff but overall I feel like I am starting off the semester pretty well.
*So maybe I do know some of these guys. Ok, maybe I know certain of these guys in what some would see as slutty ways. But really just this one guy. The nickname of V-Neck Guy was given to him before we met and before I got to know him in said possibly-slutty ways. Actually, Maria was the one who noticed him in the dining hall and I didn't realize until after I met him that he was in fact THE V-Neck Guy. And now we're friends (and by friends I mean there is, of course, the usual drama that follows me wherever I go because I am always making poor life decisions).
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